Your New Normal

Your beauty came again through my door, like the harsh wind of the winter,
Slammed the windows of all my plans of attack
And muted my every shout, every ongoing incantation,
Blew out the candles and solidified my rituals.
 
I'm numb,
Feel weak
I'm dumb,
Fearful.
What have I done?
I raised the stakes, now can I possibly get there to save pieces of you  
In the storage unit of my mind, crossing the light,
Medium and deep blue of your eyes?
Can I dive deep enough so I can drown in you,
Hiding from myself, saving me the embarrassment
Of underestimating your play?
 
With a holy book in your hands, that I never understood too well,
You appeared so reverent, tall, radiant and true.
Calm, or just mystical, carefully embraced by its words,
You showed up much stronger this time.

It was like the diamonds of your smile traveled to Heaven and back,
And your forehead got powdered with stellar dust on the way
I looked at you, wanted to tease, laughing while dusting you off,
But you were not the same
It was something alien about your magnetic field,
Which pushed me against the walls of my human limitations.

Inside of a glass ball,
Like a pre-born child with no outside knowledge,
I now am, looking at the coded realm that's been unfolded before my eyes
And trying to learn about your new normal.

- to Mr. C.G
12.08.2020

The Last Poem

I curse you from the bottom of my soul
I curse your beloved, your life, your present and future.
So many days, so many months, a whole year of my life and beyond
Drowned in absolute love of your picture.

I still remember those days like it was yesterday
Playing Keane's celestial songs and writing daily poems
Inspired by those keys and written for your strange beauty.

In that insane dream I was diving and could never return
Not even today I am back on Earth full body and mind.
I'm still floating somewhere in between, among leftovers of you
The then flowers closed their petals, but I still feel their smell sometimes.

Today the news came over me like a long thin knife running to pierce my heart
To bury me in desperation and helpless regrets
To rewind those surrealy perfect memories.
How could you do this to me?
Do you remember me?
Do you fucking remember me?
I'm sure you do, you will ever remember me, you failed entertainer.
You will always remember your days of glory
With which I coincide.

- to Finn Vine
27.07.2020

The Pleasure Of You

Wires
Unknown wires connected to your stellar beauty
And bound from above to my wrists weakened emotionally
Make me shiver
Make me want, make me need, make me slip on pleasure
So much pleasure of you
Into myself  
I pour the black of my eyes
Like a cup of coffee into the blue sugar of your eyes
And mix them all into the hot milk of my breasts
With a painful squeeze set ablaze
So you drink it all
So you drink me off
Incandescent quivers burn all my thoughts away
Covered in ashes I scream for more and more
And more
Of you
Raw meat grows again from myself
For another round of extreme insanity
Immobilized by your golden arms
I wait with desire, incertitude and slight fear
For you to waste all, all of you into me
So I can turn all of you into the best of me
And pass it all back to you
My opened mouth sips the maddening drops of your sweat
Your chest heavily presses against my rising breasts  
I put my arms around you
And suck you inside
All of you
Your eyes
Your hair
Your mouth
Your tongue
Like blind, reading your wrinkles
Projecting them on my eyelids
Your moves
Your gasps
Your thoughts
Your everything
Everything
Everything
Merging inside
Higher inside of me
Up to my head
Piercing my blood-brain barrier
And passing into my mind
Like a paralyzing drug
Only you
The sweet
Only you
The beautiful
Slide inside
Into my meat
Into my mind
There, deep there
C'mon
C'mon
Can't hold it
Now
Now
Now
Surrender!

- to Mr. C.G
17.07.2020

The Random Twig

I need to know that I am the Queen of your kingdom
That I am the one and only, like a jewel turning bloody red,
And flowing on your wrists, like lava,
When mounted on top of a ring.

I need the exclusivity of your words
The innermost corridors of your thoughts
So i can metamorphose into the only wave
Able to leave visible traces of salt on your sweaty skin

I am not a chamomile flower
To easily boil crammed within a full bag of tea
I am the only carnivore rose with thick velvet petals
Ready to climb your unknown and waste away to self-harm
For the holy purpose of merging my mouth, my skin, my meat,
my embrace and my mind
With yours.

My breath is at the Sun's temperature
It is the hottest steam measured within the human system
I'm there, floating above, I don't think that you have even noticed me
Since you think that I'm a random twig
Fallen on your morning alley,
Which you step on with a cup of coffee in your hand
Sipping slowly, after the morning sex,
Unaware of a heart beating under your feet
That bursts and bleeds in heavy tears
And turns the whole sky into an empire of fire
Just for the delight of your eyes.

- to Mr. C.G.
  July 10, 2020

Hard To Get

I was not playing hard to get
But just carefully planning my safe return
It's just that each step taken backwards
Slipped ahead, carried by the mellow ice of your eyes.

The statue of your beauty
That at first rose up to the core of the Universe
Has slowly been overridden
By the tears gathered in the cup of your morning doubts.

I was so much craving for rosy intricate love
Or so I thought, until I met you, straightforward and clear,
Going through all of me
Like the sun rays through thin air,
Undressing me,
Making love to me,
Natural and plain
Like a field of gold laying before my frozen eyes.

Awashed by warm light
My dreams escaped through my fingers and scattered away -
Heavy fog crystallized on willow leaves
In the shape of your simple name.

Undefined
I fell on my knees
Crying for the first time.

30 June 2020
- To Mr. C.G. -

Lust - The Life Starter

It’s the eye that makes us sigh for each other
It’s the raw flesh that grows fervid blood cells inside
According to a well-established programme;
It’s the blood flow that gets pumped at a higher pace 
Draining every other cell
In order to feed the islands of our imagination.

It’s the uncontrollable realm of the subconsciousness
Firing epileptic bursts of electricity
Meant to be turned into visions
That serve as project drawings
For the realities ahead.

It’s the inner vines 
That grow and bloom on the land of the brainy islands
Piercing the membrane of the consciousness
And developing towards our outer beings
As human creations.

10.06.2020

Just A Song

Metallic Creeps

Your majesty gives me the creeps
Every morning I find myself like a poorly trained climber
Wandering at the base of Mount Everest.
I feel a challenging lump in my throat
When I stare at the highness above
And the thought of the long journey makes me dizzy and sick.

On a raw stomach, filled just by worship and lust,
Every day is a waging battle
Between the pleasure of idly indulging in you
And the effort of climbing every step of the ladder
That connects to your electrical grid.

So high, and higher and higher
Too hard, and harder and harder
I feel all of my strings loaded under their ultimate tensile strength
I scream, but the sound vibration stretches them further 
Pressing my brain against the walls of its physical limits. 

Toxic perfection
Taking over the pace of my breath and upregulating the functions of all my organs,
Forcing them in a simultaneous full operational state
And melting all out in a metallic incandescence
That grinds me away...

03.06.2020
Inspired by:

The Frail Entertainer

Dressed in music keys and plains of the thought,
Tangled in bright colors and wearing too many sunsets at once,
She inhales your sorrows and longings
And stealthily grows into you
Like the root of a carcinogenic call.

She dances artlessly, with slightly overestimated
Self-gratification and ease,
Chasing with each moment the previous one,
Animated by the electronic projection
Of exquisite strangers.

Loving and omniscient,
Unforgiving and disheveled at times,
She displays with disarming sincerity
The most crafted real portrait
Ever seen.

Greasing her surrounding air with honey
She awaits for winged freeloaders
To climb the heights of her light spectrum,
To stick and bite her from white to purple
And fade her rainbows out, for sweet aching redemption.

AI Intelligence or Childishness?

This Iot thing should be presented as something pleasant, if the aim is to help at the preservation of the world leadership.

AI can take our jobs and our food (which if they do, the country who has AI leadership will lose at a global scale).

AI-s can't attempt to challenge the complexity of human intelligence simply because the AI-s don't compete with each other and don't breed with each other.

The whole human model is based on competing with each other for a mate and, at a greater scale, on nations competing with each other.
This is the driving force of the world.

AI-s don't do any of these things. The sole driving force behind the AI tools is human.

AI-s should be tools that help us save time and manpower, but sadly they are mainly surveillance tools.

It's funny how much money are wasted on common individual surveillance.
Very childish and energy consuming.

Brief Rules For Dream Interpretation

1. (Freud) we dream about things that we experienced in the previous day, maximum 48 hours before the dream occurs

2. (Freud) we dream about our desires and fears

3. (Freud) most dreams have a sexual central component (e.g. sexual desire or fear of losing the object of our sexual desire)

4. (Important - Freud) most dreams are encrypted. the person or even object that we see in the dream is most of the times somebody else that we are in fact dreaming about. We must search for clues like clothing, the surrounding objects, what that person says etc., in order to figure out who that person in fact represents.

5. (Freud and others) dreams occur in real time

6. (ancient scientists) most dreams that are not sexual desires tell us about our bodily state. e.g.: a big steak as hunger for protein food, lots of candies as hunger for sweets, temperature e.g. a fire or an icy landscape.

7. (ancient scientists) dreams that display fear and are not (directly) related to the fear of losing the object of our sexual desire, express also the fear of losing our bodily integrity e.g. big waves as fear of drowning, wandering on unknown streets with no money in our pockets as fear of losing our job, floods as fear of a deteriorating shelter (broken pipe) etc.

9. (Freud?) Dreams are presented in a colorful manner, in order to be made pleasurable and hence the act of sleeping desirable.

Yet many people (myself included) lose so much sleeping time in front of the computer monitors, depriving themselves of both bodily and mentally restoration.

8. Jung's archetype thing is untrue. It is just an attempt to downsize the importance of Freud's work.

This is kind of what it is, it is quite simple, yet many people from the ancient to the present times have worked to figure out these things.

What happens to us?

The world rolls over a couple of texted messages
Imprinted on virtual concrete like a hopscotch on the pavement-
Human feelings that have played with each other
Shudder waves peaking, excited by natural harmony

In the self-imposed mutism
A big shade takes over
Not just the innocent memories of the like,
But the very notion of future.

It's odd to swim up in our own judgement
And picture a desiccated land
Lying ahead like a bat corridor
That pours out the echoes of our voices
Distorted, after they hit the synthetic walls of our minds.

The simple act of holding the internal blood of your hand into mine
And feeling its pulse tuning
Feels of a much higher importance
Than it would, in a normally operating environment.

We withdraw into the flesh of our bodies
And listen to the sounds of our silent default system
Finding ourselves exploring the old with strange new eyes,
Like we're the first humans to ever been born

Moreover, we co-opted the most brain-gifted
To carve this scene in historic stone
To the exclusion of all.

What happens to us?!

29.05.2020

The 5G Ballad

Rainbows and lightning are all after you,
Run for your life or they will pierce you
Corona discharges invisible needles
Like arrows they fly towards your candy giggles
A purple glow orbits your head.
You're encircled.

White matter and plasma acquire vibration
The wave is too deep for you to still sense
Fundamental decomposition and oxidation in glow
Begin...

But you can't tell anymore what they mean
And beg us to let you inside the electrical dream
"We lose him"... words converge from the  halls
And I can't stand the helpless discomfort
I got to think of something,
Of a way to reconnect you
To reality.

The ground?
Yes... Forget about the shiny stars right now!
I grab your indecisive arm
And you collapse on the ground
The purple glow dissipates,
The dreams, the visions, the worries
Return to baseline.

You open your eyes like a newborn child
Reaching with your pale arms towards a tuft of grass
It's green, it's here and it is alive
It's grown from the flesh and blood of our heirs
For you to rely on and to follow its path
Towards God's true breathing circle.

May 19, 2020
- to Mr. C.G.