Oh, what a dream!

I was with my coworkers, running on some buildings like the ones in Brandon Lee's movie - the Crow (that I watched before getting asleep). Radu was there as well. He was on the other side of the building and I couldn't reach him.

On the building there were some computers too and a round table. The firm had some guests or something and Radu was responsible for them. He was tired and at some point he burst, yelling that he doesn't make extrahours anymore.

It was dark there, a kind of electricity break and suddenly after he yelled the building was shed into light.

My coworkers laughed and said that he should've yelled earlier, since all his wishes come true. (This must be the fact that I associate him with Jesus).

Then he sit near a female coworker and they seemed so close, although I declared in the office that he is my mate. The people around me asked me if I am sure of what I am saying and I wasn't sure anymore.

That woman looked rather like Dana than like Chuckles. He spent a lot of time with her, laughing, but then he left home alone (like he does with Chuckles).

Suddenly he appeared in a hospital room where I was going to have a herniated disc surgery. He was dressed in a white gown and was a medical assistant.

I talked to him a lot about teeth, his teeth were looking rather strange, but he said that he feels all right with them, but not as ok as some might think. He laughed, I laughed, it was a relaxed conversation. (see his real problems with the teeth, the disease of the other teen and the baby sitter thing that continues below):

A female doctor appeared and she said that I should get ready for the surgery. I was dressed like shit and I didn't take a shower those days, so I was stinky and my hair on my legs was pretty long. (see my hair complex).

I asked him what's his role in the surgery and he said that he will make me the anaesthesia injection and I was thinking: so what if that is made into the leg? He will see some hairy dirty legs. (see that inferior race thing that you accused me of).

I went to the bathroom and I was sitting there very long. I took a narcotic myself in order to relax (see the Xanax that I used to take in order to relax in his presence).

I went out of the bathroom and the doc said that I should hurry. Radu was pretty smiley and said that everything will be all right. I told to the doc that I took another analgesic and she said that it's ok, that they won't combine. Then the dream got cut.

Now I was with Radu at a party. We were supposed to dance, but a couple near us started to gasp and I could see with my bare eyes that they were having sex.

Radu was sitting on a chair with flowers (like those ones at the party) and I was sitting on him, but with my back turned to him. We were looking into a big mirror.

I asked him: what are they doing there? (those two people who had sex).

He didn't answer, but he took his dick off, he spread my legs and he put it in me. It wasn't big, it was pretty flabby and I didn't feel anything. He got in and out for just about three times, then he cum, but not really in me. He cum all over that chair. It was A LOT of sperm there.

Then he left for a few seconds and my American bf appeared like a shadow and told me: so what are you doing now? Take his sperm and put it inside of you! You said you want his kid! (The American dude actually said that back then when he couldn't fuck me proper, saying that he wants my kids).

I had a piece of paper in my hand, trying to put the sperm in it, but I couldn't, because it was slipping down. I started to play with it like I battered the dought and the sperm got thicker and thicker and the spermatozoids became visible, moving their tails. I kissed it and I swallowed some.

Radu came back and he said: c'mon, kiss it and take it, I thought you liked it. Then he looked at me and smiled sad and bitter: is this a couple to you? (meaning that I want to make and raise the kid alone, just taking his sperm).

I didn't say anything and my mouth was full of clammy sperm.

He said: come here, let me kiss you! He kissed me, but he swallowed sperm instead of being a real kiss. He choked with it and said, laughing: "I can't even kiss you".

Afterwards, I was ashamed to take his sperm and to put it inside of me.

Happy Birthday!

Well Happy Birthday my Bobby
I haven't been here in time to say it to you,
To let you know if you're still making my dreams
After the long ban that I was going through.

It's been a year now, my dear
Since I fell for your tennis ball,
When I was writing poems in English
Instead of entertaining a Romanian boy doll.

Now my days are not very different
Though people don't call me "nuts" anymore
Because the guy is in my office
And the virtual turned into something so sore.

So what if he doesn't waste a spittle on me
And for nothing I keep writing him poems?
For the people around he's still so real, you see,
Even though you and me conjoined two kingdoms.

The fact that he's at a few meters distance
Makes him more real than all the dreams that we've had
When ideally we pictured each other
Hanging night and day on a thread.

Our souls were beating through wires
Flesh and blood symbolised by a shiver of mind
Coalesced thrills ablazing abstract desires
A combination of prayer and fraud.

Now I am back to gather the echoes
Left behind our traces of steam
Light fingers sublimating the meanings
Of the everlasting love theme.


~to Crazy Bob
26.12.2007

Poveste de iarna

Te-ai inchis
Si ca o floare de iarna cernind
Respiri
Neatins

Cu privirea plutind
In plasma lichenilor ce beau rasina de brad
Din cetini sfarsite,
Cu arta,
Aluneci

Timid, cu halouri de gand
Hranesti insingurat
Paduri albe de zapada

Nedeslusiri din tine cresc
Cand umbra-ti sovaie ca a unui mesteacan
Cantat la pianul lumilor tale

Din vreascul datinilor,
Supus luminii retrase in reflectii,
Nasti in amurg
Calendare

Perenitati ti-aluneca discret
Printre degetele ce tin
Infinitul

Nedumerit,
Necunoscut si smerit,
Daruiesti zi de zi
Cu credinta
Albastrul

~lui Radu Neagu
19.12.2007

Calugarul

Radu e calugar vechi,
N-are ochi, n-are urechi;
Femeile le detesta
Ca sa nu-i joace vreo festa.

El ar vrea la manastire,
Sa filozofeze-n tihna
Dar statul a zis ca n-are
Locuri multe de odihna.

Lui ii place doar natura
Pe care o protejeaza
Cand in coada la email
Lozinci el isi ataseaza.

Barbisonul de savant
Il face si mai pedant
Cand, idealist si-n gol,
El fumeaza un Pall Mall.

Pletele le da-ntr-o parte
Ca noi sa cadem pe spate
Cand, inalt si fara tzel,
Se remarca numai El.

Blondut si cu ochi albastri,
E frumos de iti ia gandul;
Craci inalti si drepti el are
Si un mers gingas ca vantul.

Visator si volatil
E pictura, din profil,
Ca icoanele cu sfinti
Ce le vedeam la parinti.

Trist si mai tot timpul mut
Nu raspunde la salut,
Ci cand vede-o vietate
Iese pe-acolo prin spate.

Si ca sa evite show-ul
Ne tot minte cu-o gagica
Pe care cica-o iubeste...
De cand era foarte mica.

Noi am inghitit galusca
Si-l privim doar de departe
Cum nurii ii curg din ingeri
Si il fac asa aparte.

Insa scunda vietate
Care sta acolo-n spate
In biroul de la SMAUT,
L-a luat mai cu asalt.

Prefacuta si-ndrazneata,
A dat cartile pe fatza.
Cu el iese la tigara
Pe noi sa ne bage-n boala.

El a rezistat putzin
Fumand singur dupa usa,
Dar pustoaica pofticioasa
A luat forma de capusa.

Il distreaza cu emailuri
Si ii canta-n a lui struna,
Trepidand ca veverita
Si zicandu-i "pofta buna!"

Pizza ea lui ii comanda
Si cu zambete-l rasfata
Dandu-i cu cate o palma
Asa-n gluma, peste fatza.

Iar in celalalt birou
Nebuna cu parul lung
Cand vede toate acestea
Plange surd si indelung.

Ca acum se face anul
De cand s-a rugat de el
Incercand cu dans si versuri
Sa-l induplece nitzel.

Dar atat de rasfatat
Cu iubire si poeme,
Speriat si agasat
El zice ca n-are scheme.

Este foarte deranjat
De atentii si de-o poza;
Serios si imbufnat,
Zici ca este o mimoza.

De gluma el nu prea stie
Si e foarte-nspaimantat;
Cand primeste-o poezie
Crede ca e violat.

Viata lui e-o cazemata
Umpluta cu puf si vata
Unde nimeni nu-i lasat
Sa vorbeasca ne-ntrebat.

Insa de cealalta parte
Chiar daca e tras pe sfoara,
Simte-atractia mortala
Si ramane-n pielea goala.

Cand, bolnav, a atipit,
Pustoaica il paraseste
Ca sa mearga la distractii
Si s-agate si pe altii.

Vulnerabil si virgin,
Timid si-adolescentin,
El se da barbat destept
Ce ia viata drept in piept.

Dar, lipsit de etalon,
E finut ca un soson
Si concesii face-n graba,
Injectat fiind cu otrava.

Melancolic si senin,
El o sa si-o ia din plin
Cand in lant se va trezi
Si umplut de bucurii.

Asta este doar o gluma
Sper ca n-ai sa te razbuni,
Ci vom fi vechii prieteni
Nevorbind de 9 luni.

~lui Radu Neagu
18.12.2007

In zori

Zorii-au fost coborati azi in berna,
Legati ca o piatra de hotar
De ochii tai si ai ei, privindu-se.

Soarele si-a amanat inflacararea din inalt
Pentru o data care va fi anuntata ulterior;
Stelele cresc, departarile plang,
Pasii ma restrang
Cazand intamplator.

Dumnezeu, abuzat de creionul meu,
Va rade-acum, eliberat, pe buze.
Colturile de unde printr-o masca veche va priveam
Aluneca, difuze.

Incet si trecand rand pe rand la secret
Gandurile-mi iau forma strazii pasilor vostri;
Ulceroase si asortate cu noaptea,
Ele se scufunda impacat in noroiul rece,
Impingand de acolo de undeva, spre zari, rasaritul.

~lui Radu Neagu si Ramona Prodan 15.12.2007

Adormind

Plec, dar somnul ma tzine
Cu sarme si saruturi de ochii mei l-ai legat;
Acordandu-i viorile de matase in mine
Ma faci sa te-astern in chip de-ntuneric,
Cu geamurile-nchise
Si mainile desprinse
Sa-ngan.

Amortita de soapta din rama
Care te vorbeste cu credinta si drama,
Te scriu cald si marunt
Pe fundul ochilor lipsiti de-ncumetare sau teama,
Tanjind prin candela ce anii-i arde-n lut
Cand tu imi poruncesti sa ma patrund...

...Rotund,
Neatins si abrupt,
Tu-mi ceri ca trupul nemiscat si prea scund
Inmuiat in plasmuire si-n palme de timpuri
Sa iti promita ca-mpotriva mea
Te va lasa sa hranesti subconstienturi
Calite in miezuri de noapte cu unt...

Cand pasul dintre noi e lin,
Cand el ti-a spus ca nu mai vreau sa vin,
De iubire il umpli, de drumuri il scurgi,
Cu stamine il ungi
Ratacindu-l in vin...

Cand rasuflarea mi-e rara,
Cand pleoapele de tine siroind
M-ascund sub gandul de ceara,
Umbrele-ti deschise
Le treci, topind,
Reamintindu-mi electric,
Rebel, fluid si magnetic,
Ce sunt.

~lui Radu Neagu
19.11.2007

Pofta Buna!

Mananc
De pe desktop, cu ironia ta albastra ma privesti
Bucati de paine dulci imi cad in poala
Facandu-mi in ciuda pe podeaua goala
Nu-mi pasa…
Un gandac se plimba trist pe masa
Curmandu-mi placerea cu spasm
Ce sandwich de basm…
Cand, cu degetele murdare
Jinduitoare,
Amortite in untul cald si moale
Te scriu…

Ce gust afrodiziac…
Mandru si paradiziac
Imi aluneca nurii ca sa imi hraneasca gandul
…Un fleac
Picatura de lac
Ravasindu-ma ca vantul…

Glucoza si astm
Modelandu-mi pulsul
Buze de pahar
Inmuiate-n zadar
-N-atatea vinuri si har
Deturnandu-mi crezul,
Depersonalizandu-mi amfora
Si mersul;

Asa un dar…
Culinar
Amagindu-mi gustul
Cu irisul intepator,
Tamaduitor,
Alene varsat pe un covor
Pe care calc de tine cu atata dor
Ca mustul…

~lui Radu Neagu
16.07.2007

Fara cuvinte

Doamne, cata frumusete mai ai putere sa strigi?
Tacut alunecand
In universurile care nu te mai stiu,
…In privirile care, cu gol, nu te mai cuprind…

Contopind timpurile,
Lacrimi de roua
Crescute-n dimineti dintr-o lume care nu te mai cere
Pe siluete de-altar serpuind
Din alte irisuri iti cerni
Inmuiate-n plumb si in miere…

Mai ieri pana si norii te priveau cu jind
Dar azi, la rasaritul tau, si-au risipit dincolo de religii insangeratele pocaluri
Rusinati aruncandu-si bibliile in mladioasele-ti valuri,
Idealuri absorbite resemnat de ale tale regaluri,
De delicatetea de negandit ce topeste al ratiunilor mit…

Zeii s-au infiorat si ei, mistuiti de uimirea cu care te-au desenat
In flacari impletindu-ti-se-n corole si lumi
Pe care doar pentru tine le-au topit in genuni
Cand, in petale, din al cerului crestet si pana la picioare
Ei ti-au ingenuncheat...

Din mare te-au nascut si-n mare te-au inflorit
Albastru, nedeterminat si infinit
Ca o sirena dezvelita pe tzarmurile scurse in adanc,
Orizont serpuit dincolo de pasiuni si de ganduri ce plang…,
Cu pletele curgandu-i pe ochii dizolvati in vis,
Si soarele radiindu-i pe urmele spalate-n abis…
…O prea frumoasa poveste ce in cuvinte nu se poate spune...

~lui Radu Neagu

Paharul de plastic

Dupa ce pleci

Norii se inchid in urma ta,
Monitoarele adormite miros a portocala
Reflectand caractere cu acelasi destin
Ce-agonisesc incercanat cate un strain
Si o ora suplimentara.

De pe tampla topita in pauza de masa
Ochii-mi aluneca pe biroul tau relativ ordonat
Si se rostogolesc sarutand buza paharului de plastic
Pe care, gol,
Ezitant si domol,
Tu nu l-ai aruncat.

Mana mi-e prea lasha ca sa il ating,
Amintirea prea dulce ca din ganduri sa vreau sa il sting;
Supta in volburi de-ndragostire si frig
Il chem sa isi reverse atingerea de peste zi,
Sa mi-o infrunzeasca bogat, alb si malformat pe sub pulover
Ca pe un inger cu 50 de aripi
Batand atat de inalt cat pot suporta
La fiecare tresarire de inima.

~lui Radu Neagu - 28.11.2007